By Edward Paoli
TRUMP SEEKS ASYLUM IN NORTH KOREA!
In a stunning move, Donald Trump has fled the U.S. and been granted asylum in North Korea by his newest best buddy, Kim Jong Un.
“I’m not fleeing the Mueller investigation” Trump declared. “There was no collusion. It’s a total witch hunt! I’ve achieved all there is to achieve in the U.S., a country of losers! My new country knows how to deal with folks who peddle fake news!”As a token of Kim’s friendship towards The Donald, Rocket Man is allowing Trump to preside over a firing squad which will eliminate the few surviving journalists and lawyers. The NRA is flying in several marksmen to participate in the occasion.
Trump tweeted “I’m in North Korea to build a Trump Tower in Pyongyang and to solve the terrible shortage of golf courses in this great country. Besides, they love me here! A new poll showed a 100% approval rating!” Trump went on to tweet that “Kimmy promised I can still watch the new Roseanne show here.”
A spokesperson for America’s religious right said Kim, like Trump, was divinely chosen, and those who criticize either man “love the Devil, Obama, and Hillary Clinton, the triumvirate of evil.” A spokesperson for everyone else said that by leaving,Trump has finally delivered on his promise to make America great again.
In an unrelated related story, KFC and McDonalds are opening numerous franchises near The Donald’s new residence.