My New Year’s Resolutions:
– Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso .
– In The Memo Field Of All My Checks, Write ” For Smuggling Diamonds”
– Finish All My sentences with “In Accordance With The Prophecy.”
– Don’t use any punctuation
– As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
– Order a Diet Water whenever I go out to eat, with a serious face.
– Mosquito Netting Around My Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.
– My Co-workers Shall Address Me By My Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
– When The Money Comes Out The ATM, I’ll Scream “I Won!, I Won!”
– When Leaving The Zoo, I’ll Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling
“Run For Your Lives, They’re Loose!!”